As I attended a Christian school, I listened to the preacher very carefully during church service, as well as my father's sermons, but still couldn't find the answer. I just couldn't understand why man was born into a world like this to live a life in which he could not even find the answer. Still, I was a person already born into this world, and I could not, must not, reject the reality of walking ever closer towards the day of my death. Also, even though my flesh would one day perish, I knew my spirit could never die, that it would never disappear; and so when I thought about passing through death's door and standing before the judgment of He who made and ruled over me, and when I wondered who, then, could carry this burden of my problem, I realized there is no one on this earth who is able to do this. I would but stand alone before God and confess everything, and as I thought about these things, I was terrified and speechless.
For it is written: "As I live, says the LORD, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God." (Romans 14:11)
At that time I didn't know there was such a passage. I was wandering lost, always carrying with me the fear of hell, and before I knew it, I had led three years of a life without purpose. Then, on Saturday, November 18th, 1961, early in the evening, I heard the sound of a hymn coming from my father's room.
Everything is changed since my sins were forgiven, Everything is changed since I knew the Lord;Now my feet are walking the pathway to heaven;All the guilty past is now under the blood.Everything is changed, praise the Lord!Now I am redeemed through the blood:Free from condemnation, God is my salvation,Everything is changed, praise the Lord! (New Hymn 611)
I could feel that he was singing with a true gratitude rising from somewhere deep within his heart. Throughout my life I had both heard and sung a countless number of hymns, but they were only being sung with lips. This was about four months before my high school graduation. I was sick in bed, staying home from school with a severe flu that had been going around. The sound of my father's hymn was only making my frustrated heart all the more uneasy. As a Christian from birth, my father had attended church for almost forty years and spent ten years as a pastor, so I wondered what great event had him suddenly singing a hymn with such a thankful heart. I thought, "I have never sung a hymn with such a sincere and thankful heart, I wonder what has happened to him...."
Alas, at dinner my father said to us, "You children may be the sons and daughters of a pastor, but you all have nothing to do with God." Then he continued, "If you do not receive salvation, you will all go to hell." This was the first time I had heard anything like this. At that moment I knew the problem that had been leaving me lost was a matter of salvation. So I prayed to God, asking Him not to take my life just yet, to please
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